


The Road to Recovery is Paved in Darkness

by Wolfgirl4vr



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Fisting, Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Bottom Victor Nikiforov, Broken Bones, Caring Yuuri, Chains, Dark, Depression, Drug-Induced Sex, Drugs, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Flashbacks, Gags, Ghosts Will Haunt, Healing, Healing takes time, Hurt Victor, M/M, Master/Pet, Master/Slave, Memories, Multi, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Rape, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Restraints, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Content, Sexual Slavery, Sexual Violence, Shadows - Freeform, Sorry Not Sorry, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Torture, Victor needs a hug, Whips, Will Victor be Able to Skate Again, broken legs, depressed victor, nothing will be the same, very dark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2018-10-09 04:28:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10403943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfgirl4vr/pseuds/Wolfgirl4vr
Summary: For two years Victor Nikiforov has been missing, and in those two years he has been rented out more times than he could count. After one buyer leaves, Victor waits for another, only for the next person to walk through the door is Yuri Katsuki. He doesn't believe it, and loses consciousness. Slowly he learns that it really is his Yuri, the man he had only just married before he had been taken. Both men have to work together to help Victor recover so that he can once again put blades to ice. Yet as they try to work together to help Victor recover, events and people from his two years of captivity start to resurface and threaten to take him back and destroy everything he is trying to hold on to. Will Yuri and Victor be able to keep the demons at bay, or will they take Victor back?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I just starting watching this, and I am totally in love with the anime! It is completely amazing. So things may change as i continue to watch it. This dark and will hold flashbacks to Victor's time in captivity, and they will be graphic. Please heed the tags and if anything is a trigger, then this story is probably not for you. Other than that enjoy! ONCE AGAIN IF THE TAGS OFFEND YOU THEN DON'T READ! THIS IS PURELY FAN FICTION! DOES NOT MEAN I ENDORSE RAPE OR ANYTHING! DON'T LEAVE COMMENTS ABOUT REPORTING THIS FIC! ITS TAGGED ACCORDINGLY!

He just stayed on his hands and knees on the cold hard floor, wondering when the next one was going to come in and take him. He had given up trying to count how many men would come and use him, there was no point. He only knew when they would stop when Master would come and tell him he had been a good whore and was allowed to sleep. His legs were starting to hurt from being held apart by the spreader bar, still feeling the last man’s release slowly leaking out of him. He wanted to clean himself, but fear kept him from doing so. Only when Master said he could clean himself would he clean. A quick shake of his head held back the tears that were threatening to fall again. Memories were so painful to him, but they also gave him hope. Hope that the people he loved and the man he had married were still looking for him. His body trembled, from the cold and the pain, but he stopped when he heard the heavy metal door opening. Usually if it was a client they would say what they paid for and he was expected to get into the position. Yet the person did not speak, and he dared not look in the direction of the door. Master beat him severely the first time he dared to look to the door. Footsteps were approaching him and he thought it was Master. His breathing quickened and his heartrate increased, for when Master didn’t speak, it meant that he was in trouble. _No, please not my legs! Not again please!_ His mind quickly screamed. His eyes travelled down at how swollen and bruised and abused his legs looked. They were just healing from being broken again, how many times, he lost count. Every time he needed a severe punishment, Master would break his healing legs. _Please! No! I can never go back on the ice!_ This time the tears ran down his face and he didn’t care. Master was going to break his legs once again, and he was afraid. He saw the figure kneel next to him and he couldn't stop the panic from building in him.

            “Victor.” A familiar voice whispered.

            Victor timidly looked up, and he felt that his heart was being pulled. It was Yuri, kneeling in front of him. The beautiful face he loved and missed so much was filled with so much pain, and it broke Victor’s heart. Then guilt washed over him, for he didn’t believe that Yuri would still be with him when everything he had been forced to do comes out. _Yuri, you’re here, but I…I’m dirty._ He wanted to speak to tell Yuri, to say how much he missed him, but his mouth would not form the words. Instead he reached out, though his body was weak, and hugged Yuri. Victor did not know how long he has been kept down in this dungeon, didn’t know if it was day or night, but he didn’t care. Yuri was there and he was physically holding the man. When Yuri didn’t hold him or try to hug him back, he released his husband. Victor remembered that there was a heavy metal collar, around his throat, chained to the wall, his legs being forced to stay spread, and he was completely naked. Everything that has been done to him, on display for anyone to see, including the man he loved. _He’s not going to want me anymore._ Victor’s mind felt it was in turmoil. He let his long hair, it had grown since his captivity began, and did his best to hide his face. Victor felt his breath catch when he felt something being pulled around his body, and he knew that it was Yuri’s jacket. Then he felt Yuri’s arms entrapping him in a tight hug.

            “I’m here Victor.” Yuri whispered into his ear. “We found you. I’m so sorry we didn’t find you sooner.” He turned his head away from Victor for a moment. “He’s in here! I found him!” He turned his head back towards the man he loved and it broke his heart. Victor’s once bright, full of life blue eyes, now held fear and worry, and it broke Yuri’s heart. He pulled Victor closer to him. “I’m here Victor, and I promise you’re safe.”

            _Yuri._ Victor’s mind wondered. The hug felt safe and warm, and he felt protected. Yet, his strength was not there, and Master had not feed him in a while. All the emotions he was feeling finally caught up with him as he closed his eyes, feeling safe wrapped in Yuri’s arms.

            _He knew he should have known that his drinking was going to get him into trouble, but as many times as he has had one too many, nothing bad ever happened. Now was different and Victor knew it was. His head was pounding, and everything in him felt heavy. The last thing he could clearly remember was a stranger giving him a drink, and then after that, nothing. Victor tried to move his hands to rub his eyes, freezing when he realized that his hands were tightly bound behind his back. He could feel his heartrate increasing and his breathing quickening. Something was definitely wrong. Victor took a few more moments to feel that he was on a cold hard floor, that there was something around his neck and he was completely naked. Panic was rising in him, and his eyes quickly scanned the room. They stopped when he saw a figure sitting a few feet from him. He swallowed back his fear and anger. “This is no way to get to know me. If you wanted a little chat, all you had to do was ask.” When the figure didn’t answer, Victor swallowed his fear again. “Unfortunately I am already spoken for. He’s probably worried about me, so if you could just release me from these bindings.” He watched as the figure slowly stood from the chair, and Victor was wishing he could see behind the figure’s mask. SMACK! The hit had his face connecting with the ground and he groaned out in pain._

_“Whores do not speak. You are to only respond with yes or no Master.” The male voice spoke. “People are going to pay me top dollar to have a piece of Victor Nikiforov.” He stepped closer and entangled his hands in Victor’s hair, before forcing the skater to look up. “Your life as you knew it is over. Now you are mine. My whore to rent out to clients that are willing to pay the price that is.”_

_Victor groaned out in pain as the man’s hand was entangled in his hair. Nothing the stranger was saying made sense, and he tried to pull away. Realizing that that was only causing more pain. He could feel the bruise already forming on his face from the hit, and tears stinging his eyes. Victor refused to cry, for he did not want to show weakness. “I am no whore.” He felt a twinge of fear when the stranger laughed. The hit to the gut came so quick, that he didn’t see the fist until it was too late. The hand released his hair the moment the fist made contact with his gut and he doubled over in pain. Victor began to gasp for breath, and fear was now coursing through his body as he began to shake. He looked up at his captor and could have sworn the man was smiling underneath the mask._

_“I said you are not to speak whore.” The man spoke. He had a joyful tone in his voice. “I am your Master, you will service those who pay your price, and you will only say yes or no Master.” The stranger bent down so that he was eye level with Victor. He grabbed hold of Victor’s face with his left hand and forced the skater to make eye contact with him. “You are going to be here for a very long time whore. Might as well know a few things. First things first, you are no longer Victor Nikiforov. You are a whore that I sell out. People are going to pay big to have a chance to be with you. Second you are not to speak except to say yes or no Master. Third, the bed is for when you are being used, and no other time. You are only allowed to clean yourself when I say so, and it will be a quick with a cloth and a bucket of water. I will bring you food when you’ve earned it, and you are at my personal disposal anytime I want to use you. Disobey or try to escape, then I promise you will regret it, my beautiful little whore.” The man gently caressed Victor’s face with his right hand, wiping away the tears that were falling down the man’s face. “Do you understand my precious pet?”_

_The bindings around his wrists were digging into his skin and he was still having trouble catching his breath. He knew that this man was crazy, and he hoped that Yuri would find him. In a blink of an eye, he had been smacked across the face once again, and while in a daze, he could feel his body being pulled towards the bed. In a blink of an eye, Victor felt his body being forced onto the bed, and his legs being spread. Flight or fight took over and he knew he had to try and fight. “Get off me! I have someone I care deeply about! Mmmph!” Victor couldn’t believe that his captor had forced a gag into his mouth._

_“You are going to learn that you are not to speak my pretty little new pet.” The stranger teased out. He quickly stripped out of his clothes and shook his head when he saw that Victor had closed his legs and was trying to turn over on his back. “Oh no you don’t. You are being trained, and I will be the first one to break you in to your new life.” The stranger grabbed hold of Victor’s ankle and forced the figure skater back on his stomach. He then spread Victor’s legs once again before settling himself in between the man’s legs. “How often do you and Yuri Katsuki actually have sex. Your hole looks to still be tight as though you are a virgin. But that’s not right is it Victor? You are both a top and a bottom.” The man slapped Victor’s ass, listening as the skater cried out from behind the gag. He lined up his hard cock and rubbed it around Victor’s tight hole._

_Victor violently shook his head back and forth. He didn’t want this, and he knew what was coming. It was wrong, for he and Yuri had only just gotten married, and only Yuri was allowed to use him. Victor screamed behind the gag as he felt the head slowly pushing past his rim, and he could already feel that his captor was bigger than Yuri. Victor tried to concentrate on his breathing, but the intrusion of the foreign cock in him was making it difficult. He could feel his captor slowly pushing the cock further into him, and then by the third thrust, Victor could feel it was all the way in. It hurt and he wanted it out. It wasn’t Yuri, and he wanted Yuri. He yelped behind the gag when he felt his captor grab a hold of his hips tightly._

_“So tight my little whore.” The stranger leaned over and whispered into his ear. “If you stay this tight, then people will pay more just because of the tightness.” He slowly began to pull out, before snapping his hips forward once again._

_Victor was screaming out behind the gag, digging his finger nails into this hands, his only hope was that Yuri would find him._

            Beep, beep, beep. _Too loud, someone make it stop._ Victor thought. Beep, beep, beep. The sound was bouncing around in his head. Maybe Master had him back in the hospital section, for there was no way that Yuri had been real. It wouldn’t be the first time he thought the man he loved had come to save him. Yet, his body no longer hurt, and something was telling him to open his eyes. Slowly, he forced his eyes to open, and a bright light greeted them. He hissed in pain for the lights were too bright. Being in darkness for so long, his eyes were having trouble adjusting to the light.

            “Victor, I’m so sorry.” The familiar voice spoke. It was soft and warm. It was the voice of Yuri. “Let me turn down the lights a little.”

            Victor listened as heard footsteps from somewhere, groaning as the sound sounded like drums going off in his head. _This has to be a dream; Yuri hasn’t found me yet._ Victor thought. He was afraid to open his eyes again, until he felt a hand encasing his, giving it a light squeeze. Victor slowly forced his eyes opened and as they adjusted to the dimmer lighting, he looked to his right and saw the most beautiful brown eyes staring back at him. They were Yuri’s eyes and Victor felt joy spread throughout his body. _He found me. Yuri found me._ He opened his mouth to speak but no words would come. Memories of what Master would do if he spoke out of term came crashing back to him, and he quickly closed his mouth. _I’m dirty, he will no longer want to be with me._ Victor felt tears stinging his eyes and he squeezed his hands tighter, feeling his grip on Yuri’s hand tightening, and stopped when he heard Yuri gasp out in pain. He looked at his husband and quickly released the younger man’s hand. Victor quickly turned his head away, ashamed that he had caused pain to the man he loved. _He deserves better now, for I am nothing but a dirty whore._ The thought caused a new wave of tears to fall down his face. Victor did not have the courage to turn back towards Yuri, afraid of what he would see on the younger man’s face.  


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Event's as Yuri saw them when he found Victor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah an update! This one came rather quick, but I had the idea and perfected it in my mind. It may change, haven't decided yet. So this story will mostly be told with Victor's POV, but every now and then a chapter might be through Yuri's. Hope everyone enjoys the new chapter.

Yuri stood outside the metal door, his nerves freezing him to the spot. On the other side of the door could be the man he’s been searching for, for two years. The memory of receiving his husband’s ring in the mail, along with a note that stated ‘he would never see Victor again,’ has been haunting him for two years. His hand went straight for the ring that now hung around his neck, serving as a reminder that Victor was out there, alive, and that he would find the man he loved. _Yurio said that this is where he heard Victor was being kept._ Yuri thought. He replayed the events leading to this moment one more time.

            _Yuri was checking with the police in New York City, for it had been there that Victor went missing. They were there to celebrate their honeymoon, and only a few days after arriving did he learn that Victor had been taken. Yuri was constantly calling or dropping in whenever he was in New York. Victor’s wedding band had arrived in at the hotel that they were staying at the next day when Victor failed to tell Yuri where he was. That was how Yuri knew that something was wrong, those two years ago. He had to know if they had any clues, any leads, that could tell them where Victor was. He was still faithful to his husband, and still skating in the men’s division, though it pulled at his heart to be on the ice. But he knew it was what Victor would want. His husband would want him to keep skating, and look for him. That’s all Yuri did, skate and search for his husband. The ring glistened around his neck, and in his mind, a way of saying that Victor was still alive, holding out hope that Yuri would come for him. Yuri swore on the ring and his love for Victor that he would never stop looking for him. “It has been two years and you’re telling me you have nothing!” Yuri hissed out. He had never been any good at dealing with his emotions, and Victor missing was a heavy range of emotions he was dealing with. “How does someone just disappear and leave nothing behind?” He looked through his blurry brown eyes at the female detective that had been assigned to Victor’s case since the start. “Detective Wind, please tell me you have something.” Yuri could feel his voice cracking on the last sentence._

_Detective Wind looked at Yuri with sadness in her grey blue eyes. “You are very dedicated to finding your husband Mr. Katsuki, and I appreciate that.” She pulled Victor’s file forward, and opened it. “Unfortunately, people can and do disappear without a trace more times than you know. Victor has joined that category, and we have very little evidence to go on. All you came to us with was the wedding band that now sits around your neck and the note. There were no fingerprints except for Victor’s…Mr. Katsuki, your phone is going off.”_

_Yuri quickly pulled his phone from his pocket and on the screen saw that Yurio was calling him. “I have to take this.” He didn’t wait for the detective to say anything before he quickly stepped out of the office and into the hallway. “Yurio, have you learned something.”_

_“Yeah.” Yurio replied into the phone. “I overheard a couple of jack offs talking at a bar about this place where they pay to have sex with whores.”_

_Yuri groaned in frustration. “Yurio if your telling me about a place where I can get laid then…”_

_“Shut it pork cutlet bowl!” Yurio yelled through the phone. “I overheard them mention a name. Victor Nikiforov. They spoke about how he was in the room with metal door. They were drunk and I thought nothing of it until a sober one came and slapped the drunk men. He said that they need to shut their traps before someone over hears them.” Yurio took a second to breath. “They left, I followed. They went to this abandoned building, and I was close enough to hear one of the jack offs say that they would pay the high price to have a piece of Victor Nikiforov. Yuri, I think we may have found Victor.”_

_Yuri felt his whole body shaking, replaying everything that Yurio had just said again. “Wh…where is the building?” He could barely talk, and his body was starting to shake. Yuri could feel the tears falling down his face, and he had to breath to keep from falling down. He listened as his friend told him where the building was located. “Thank you Yurio.”_

_“If he’s there, then you’ll contact me. Right piggy?” Yurio spoke through the phone._

_Yuri smiled. “I will. I’ll call as soon as we know if Victor is actually out there.” Yuri ended the call and quickly went back into the detective’s office. “Detective Wind, we need to go here, now.”_

            It took a day longer than he wanted, but now he was in the abandoned building staring at the metal door. Yuri had seen men being removed from other rooms, not believing what he was seeing. He took a deep breath and nervously reached out and grabbed the handle to the door.

            Time seemed to stop as he held the handle, frozen, and his body not responding to his commands. Two years of searching could end once he opened the door, or all that could happen was that his hopes would be crushed again. He demanded to be here, be wherever there was a lead for Victor, only to keep having his dreams crushed when it turned out to be nothing. Yuri pushed to be here, pushed to be the one to stand in front of this door. It was the only metal door that was in the whole building and he was only holding the handle, afraid. _I have to be strong, Victor could be on the other side of this door._ Yuri thought. He swallowed back the fear he was feeling, lifted the handle and slowly pushed the door opened. The sight before him immediately brought tears to his eyes and he threw his hands over his mouth to keep from crying out. He would recognize that hair anywhere, and the body as well. It was Victor Nikiforov, it was his husband, but the state of the man tugged tightly at his heart strings. Yuri saw that Victor’s legs were being kept opened by a spreader bar, Victor’s beautiful body was marked with scars, cuts, and bruises of all kinds, and he watched at how Victor’s body shook. Yuri also saw that Victor looked like he was under weight, and it broke his already breaking heart. The collar and chain stuck out on Victor’s body, and Yuri couldn’t believe what he was seeing. To Yuri, the most disturbing part was the release of another man leaking out of Victor, and how Victor looked so defeated as he waited for another to come. He didn’t understand what kind of people could do such a thing to another human being. Yuri slowly started to walk towards Victor, keeping his hand over his mouth, too afraid what would come out. He noticed how Victor’s once short silver hair was now long, just like his time in the Journey Division. Yuri stopped when his eyes drifted down and saw that Victor was crying. It broke Yuri’s heart, his husband looked so broken, but he didn’t care. He found the man he loved and would stick by him no matter what. He reached Victor’s head, and his legs gave out, causing him to crash to his knees. “Victor.” He didn’t think his husband heard him, but Victor had. Yuri watched as Victor’s once bright blue-green eyes stared at him, so much hurt and pain in them and it pulled more at Yuri’s heart.

            Yuri was taken by surprise when Victor all of the sudden threw his arms around him and held on. Yuri was stunned and didn’t know what to do, and felt guilt build in him when Victor released him, dropping his head back down. _Crap!_ Yuri’s mind screamed. He had to do something, do something to show that he still cared about his husband, and Yuri did the first thing that came to mind. He quickly removed his jacket and brought it around Victor’s naked body and pulled the man into a hug. “I’m here Victor.” He whispered into his husband’s ear. “We found you. I’m so sorry we didn’t find you sooner.” Out of concern for his husband he pulled his head away before he shouted for the officers. “He’s in here! I found him.” He turned his head back towards his husband and kissed the top of Victor’s head. Yuri pulled Victor in closer to his body, making sure that his husband knew that he was there and would never leave him. “I’m here Victor, and I promise you’re safe.” He held tighter to his husband and then felt as the other man went slack. Yuri pulled back and saw that Victor’s eyes were closed, and it pulled more at his already aching heart. He pulled the man back into a hug and held him tighter, and felt the tears running down his face. Yuri had blamed himself for two years, blamed himself for not going out that night with Victor, and that everything that has been done to his husband was his fault. “I’m so sorry Victor. I should have gone out with you that night, I should have been with you. If I was, then we wouldn’t be here.” He tightened his grip on Victor, letting the last two years come out and buried his face in Victors neck. Yuri quickly pulled back when he felt the cold steel of the collar hit his face. His eyes slowly travelled up the chain links and found that they were attached to the wall and he felt anger. _Who could do this to such a sweet man?_ Yuri thought furiously. _Treat him worse than an animal! Don’t worry Victor, I’ll be here with you every step of the way to get better._ Ignoring the collar around Victor’s neck, he began to cry into his husband’s neck.

            Time seemed to stop, and all Yuri was aware was that he was holding Victor, the man he loved and married. The man he had been searching for, for two years. Everything came crashing back when he heard footsteps entering the room, and Yuri held Victor tighter to him. He was going to protect him, and his head quickly snapped towards the entrance of the room and watched as a few police began to enter the room. He lowered his defenses slightly, but he refused to let go of Victor. “Is there a way we can get the collar and all off.”

            “Someone bring the bolt cutters!” An officer yelled. They walked and knelt next to Yuri, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Mr. Katsuki, when the officer with the bolt cutters come, we are going to need you to let go of Mr. Nikiforov so that the paramedics can rush him to the hospital.”

            “He’s my husband.” Yuri furiously stated. He started to run his hand through Victor’s long hair, not believing how much it grew in two years. “I want to be with him.”

            “You can ride with him in the ambulance and follow up until he is rushed into the operating room.” The officer explained. “Did he say anything to you before he passed out?”

            Yuri held tighter to Victor, not wanting to believe that this was a dream. “No. He just looked at me. His eyes were so full of fear and pain, and he just hugged me.” Yuri whispered. Everything that he had been going through for two years just coming to the surface. His body shook as he held onto Victor, tighter than he thought possible. Yuri felt his body start to shake, as all the guilt he had been feeling for two years came rushing forward, threatening to drown him. “It’s all my fault he’s here. I should have gone out with him that night. I should have been with him.” Yuri didn’t care he was crying, he had blamed himself continuously for the two years, and now holding Victor, he blamed himself even more. “If I was with him, then he wouldn’t be here. We would be getting ready to compete in a few days to qualify for the Grand Prix right now. And during the off season, we would be living happily in Russia with his dog Makkachin. “We wouldn’t be here, he wouldn’t be…” Yuri couldn’t finish the sentence as he pulled Victor closer and just cried. He didn’t know how long he had been like that until he felt a hand on his shoulder and his head snapped up. Yuri saw that Detective Wind was looking at him, with understanding in her eyes. He hated that look.

            “Yuri,” Detective Wind spoke. She knelt next to him, keeping her hand on his shoulder. “None of this is your fault, and I’m sure Victor would tell you that as well…”

            “It is!” Yuri yelled. “I should have stopped skating, not continue on. I should have tried harder to find him. Maybe we would have found him sooner!” He didn’t care that he was yelling or that his voice was echoing in the room. Yuri believed in his heart that this was his fault. “I should have gone with him! I shouldn’t have let him go out alone in the city! This is all my fault!” He saw the pity again in Detective Wind’s eyes. “Don’t pity me.”

            “I’m not pitying you Yuri.” Detective Wind spoke. “You could not have known that this would happen, and who’s not to say that you wouldn’t have ended up here as well? All you can do now is be here for Victor every step of the way.”

            SNAP! The sound echoed throughout the entire room. Both Yuri and Detective Wind looked up and saw that an officer had returned with a pair of bolt cutters and cut one of the links in the chain. Now Victor was no longer attached to the wall. They watched as paramedics came rushing in, and the indecision in Yuri’s face. “You need to let go, just so they can get him on the gurney.”

            “The collar and the spreader.” Yuri whispered. He wanted those horrible devices off of his husband before he moved. “They need to come off now.” He didn’t want those on as a reminder of what Victor has been through. “Take them off now, please!” Yuri tightened his grip on Victor, refusing to let go until the devices were releases from him. He watched as the paramedics reached out to take Victor from him, and Yuri was not having it. “Take the collar and the spreader off him! Now, please!”

            “There’s no time Yuri.” Detective Wind’s voice broke through the turmoil in his head. “He’s severely ill and underweight. Let the paramedics take him. Once he’s secured to the gurney, you can grab hold of his hand and go with him. They will come off at the hospital, I promise. Please let the paramedics do their job.”

            Yuri didn’t want to let go, didn’t want Victor to be taken to the hospital with those contraptions on him. Yet he felt the paramedics prying his arms off of Victor, watching as though he was watching a movie. Yuri watched as the placed Victor on the gurney, and watched as they quickly strapped Victor down and lifted the gurney up. The time it took felt like a life time, but Yuri quickly got up and held Victor’s hand. He would be damned if they told him he couldn’t be near Victor. He swallowed back the guilt he was feelings and rushed out of there, running alongside the paramedics, making sure his hand staying entangled in Victor’s.

            The ride to the hospital seemed to take forever, and Yuri kept his eyes on Victor’s face, not once looking away. He could feel the tears threatening to spill over, but he didn’t want to cry. Victor needed him to be strong, and he would be strong. The ambulance finally pulled up to the hospital and they rushed Victor in, and Yuri followed as far as he could go, until the doctors told him he could go no further. The moment that Victor’s hand slipped from his, Yuri felt the world crashing down around him. His life was now in a complete spin, as everything came crashing on him. His legs gave out, and he collapsed on his knees once again, and buried his face in his hands. His Victor, the man he loved, so hurt and so broken, was now found and in the hospital. Yet Yuri couldn’t shake the guilt, he would always blame himself for what Victor has been through. One choice to stay at the hotel, changed his world for two years. Yuri flinched when he felt hands just his shoulders. He looked up through blurry eyes and saw that it was one of the hospital workers was gently touching him.

            “Sir, can you stand?” The worker asked. Yuri could only shake his head yes, and felt that the worker was helping him to stand. Yuri just felt numb as he was lead into a waiting room and sat in a chair. “If you need anything, then just let myself or one of the nurses know. We will let you know when the doctors are done and he’s been moved to a private room.”

            “Thank you.” Yuri whispered. He didn’t think that his voice was working, but watched as the worker nodded and left him. He quickly shook his head, knowing that he had to be strong for Victor. Yet, everything came back. _What if I had stopped skating when Victor went missing? What if I dedicated every single minute of every day into finding him? Would we have found him sooner? This is all my fault._ Yuri couldn’t stop everything from swimming around in his mind, and came out of it when a doctor appeared in front of him.

            “Mr. Katsuki?” The doctor asked. Yuri didn’t trust his voice, so he only shook his head. The doctor held out his hand and helped Yuri to stand up.  “I’m Dr. Montegorma, and I have been assigned to help take care of Victor Nikiforov. I can escort you to his room, and would it be okay if we talk along the way?”

            Yuri only shook his head yes and followed along. They walked through the Emergency Room doors, and Yuri just listened as their footsteps echoed in the hallway. There were so many questions, so much he wanted to know, yet he didn’t want to know. Yuri knew that everything that Victor had been through, it was all his fault, and no one was going to convince him otherwise. They walked until they were in front of Victor’s room, and Yuri just stared through the window. There on the bed was his husband, attached to all sorts of machines, yet looking peaceful. Yuri felt new tears rushing into his eyes as he just stared at his husband. “What did you want to talk about?”

            “Mr. Katsuki,” Dr. Montegorma started to explain. “I just want to let you know what we found as we examined Mr. Nikiforov.” The doctor took a breath before he started to talk again. “Mr. Nikiforov has been through some very traumatic events. He has been beating and sexual assaulted over the past two years.”

            Yuri threw his hands over his face, to keep from screaming out. In his mind he knew that Victor had been assaulted, but not for the past two years. _Shit! He’s been raped for over two years! And beaten! What else has he been through?_ Yuri felt his mind going crazy, until he looked up and saw that the doctor was still talking. He shook his head and removed his hands. “I’m sorry, what else did you say?”

            Dr. Montegorma just felt nothing but sympathy for the man in front of him. “He’s been tortured and his legs have been broken multiple times throughout his captivity. We can count at least eight times, but the damage shows that it may have been more. There is a branding mark on his hip. You and him will have to discuss what you want to have done, after he gains more weight. Also understand that with what he’s been through, he may not be willing to open up and talk right away. He’s going to need you. You can go in now.”

            Yuri only nodded his head and walked into the room. All he wanted was to crawl next to his husband and hold him close, but he couldn’t. All the wires and machines that wrapped around Victor’s body made it impossible, and it broke whatever remained of Yuri’s heart. He pulled a chair up and enclosed Victor’s hand in his. Yuri jumped when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled the phone out, and saw that it was Yurio who was calling him. He didn’t want to answer, but decided he should. “Hello.”

            “Did you find Victor?” Yurio shouted through the phone. “I swear Pork Cutlet Bowl if you did and didn’t call me right away, you’ll regret it!”

            The shouting was vibrating all around the room and Yuri was afraid that Victor would hear it. “Yeah, he’s…he’s in bad shape.” Yuri whispered into the phone. He couldn’t bring himself to say everything that the doctor had said. “I’m sorry I didn’t call right away. We’re at the hospital. I’ll call you when he wakes up.” He didn’t wait for an answer as he hung the phone up. Yuri’s head snapped quickly towards Victor’s head when he heard the man groaning. “Victor. I’m so sorry. Let me turn down the light.” He quickly got out of the chair and adjusted the lightening so that it was dimmer, and quickly went back to the bed and took Victor’s hand in his. He just stared at Victor, and saw so much in his husband’s blue-green eyes. He watched as it looked like Victor would speak, but didn’t. Instead Yuri watched as Victor looked away and watched as the tears started to run down his face. A gasp escaped his mouth from Victor squeezing his hand so tight, and just when he thought his heart couldn’t break anymore, it shattered when Victor pulled his hand away and quickly turned his head from him. _Crap! He thinks I’m mad at him._ Yuri thought. He did the only thing he thought of. Yuri cupped Victor’s face, forced his husband to look at him, and kissed him. Yuri knew that there was a long road ahead of them, but he wanted Victor to know that he would be there no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this story will mostly take place in New York, since we learn this chapter that is the city where Victor was taken.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor knows that it is not a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it took so long to update. I have been extremely busy and recently just moved. I am trying to update my stories, while trying to add new ones as well. Hope everyone enjoys the new chapter!

Victor was stunned that Yuri was kissing, especially after everything he has been made to do. Yet, it made his heart soar that Yuri still showed interest in him, and it made him feel better. He just wished that it was under happier circumstances that he was with his husband. Victor wanted to speak, but he couldn’t. Too many memories of what Master would do if he spoke out of term kept him from talking. _Why does he still want to be with me?_ Victor thought. He just stared at his husband, trying to memorize all the features on the man’s face he loved, just in case this was a dream. His hand was slowly reaching up towards Yuri’s face, for he wanted to touch the face of the man he loved, but Master striking him flashed across his eyes and he retracted his hand back. _I can’t, he doesn’t want to be with me._ Victor felt his heart skip a beat when he felt Yuri grab hold of his hand and bring it to his lips. He didn’t understand how Yuri still cared for him.

            “I love you Victor.” Yuri caringly spoke. “I will stay by your side no matter what. We will work through this together. I promise.”

            The tears were stinging his eyes and he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He did not understand how Yuri could still love him, even though he had forced to have sex with multiple men over the past two years. Victor knew that he didn’t deserve Yuri anymore, and it caused him to grip the sheets tighter. _How can he say that? He doesn’t know what I’ve been forced to do._ Victor just didn’t understand it, and yet that was why he loved his husband. A sudden grip on his hand brought him out of his state and he quickly looked down and saw that Yuri had a hold of his hand. His eyes went for the ring finger and saw that there was still a gold band on Yuri’s hand, and Victor wanted to pull his hand away. He didn’t know what Master had done with his ring, all Victor remembered was the moment it was taking off his finger.

_“Such a pretty ring, pet.” Master spoke. It had to be his third or fourth day of captivity, though Victor didn’t know. All his sense of time had been lost since the first moment he was raped, and how many different men have come and raped him already. “But pets are not allowed jewelry. You are mine, and this is only a reminder of what you used to be.” Victor couldn’t believe what he was hearing and he forced his eyes to look in Master hand. There was his wedding band, a sign of his love for Yuri. Victor felt anger building in him, he had to stop Master from taking the ring._

_“Give it back.” Victor hissed. His voice sounded weak, and he felt weak. Master had only finished using him and he had no energy left. “It’s mine, given to me by my hus…mmph.” Victor had no time to prepare as Master forced his cock into Victor’s mouth. He hated this, and he wanted to bite down. Yet the first time he did it to a client, Master broke his ankle and caned his back until he was withering in pain on the floor._

_“You are still defiant, and it is amazing.” Master sinisterly spoke. He entangled his hand in Victor’s head and forced him to move his head. “Let this remind you, pet. You are nothing more than a whore, and your past is dead. This is now mine, like you are mine to do with as a please.”_

_Victor simply watched through tearful eyes as Master pocketed the ring and continued to make him suck his cock. He lost track of how long it had gone on for, but he remembered that after Master released in his throat, that two men came in after Master left and used him._

            Now he simply stared at Yuri’s ring finger, seeing how it shined on his husband’s hand. He let the tears he had been holding back fall down his face, and he quickly turned his head away from Yuri. Victor lost the one thing that symbolized their love, their marriage, and he couldn’t look at Yuri anymore. The sudden touch of a hand running through his hair had him quickly snapping his head towards Yuri. Victor did not understand how Yuri still held so much love and compassion in his eyes for him.

            “Victor.” Yuri calmly spoke. He continued to run his hand through Victor’s hair. “What’s wrong.?” He watched as Victor’s eyes adverted his gaze and went to his ring finger. It clicked in his mind what Victor was looking at. Yuri quickly brought his hand back and reached in his shirt. “I think this belongs to you Victor.”

            Victor couldn’t believe what he was seeing. There, around Yuri’s neck, was his wedding band. He couldn’t believe that Master had sent the ring to Yuri, and he didn’t care. His ring to show his love and devotion was not lost, but with Yuri. It had to be a sign that he was always going to be found, and he was. Victor felt his body tense as he watched Yuri remove the chain from around his neck, slip the ring off the chain, and slowly lifted his hand. Victor simply watched as Yuri lifted his left hand, and slowly slipped the ring back onto his finger. His heart felt lighter, and it felt as though a missing part of him had returned. He opened his mouth to say something, but images of Master striking him flooded his mind and he quickly closed it. _He had the ring the whole time. Yuri never gave up on me, why?_ Victor thought. He couldn’t take his eyes off the ring, nor stop them from looking over at Yuri every now and again.

            “I’ve never taken it off.” Yuri started to explain. “Once the police collected what they could of course. I’ve worn it every day, and every time I competed.” Yuri took Victor’s hands in his and held them tight. “I should have stopped skating Victor, and dedicated every minute to trying to find you.”

            Victor stared at his husband, and watched as tears started to fall down his husband’s face. He reached out, slowly, to wipe those tears away, but when Yuri’s head came up, he retracted his hand. Everything was tearing him up inside, for he knew that he didn’t deserve Yuri anymore. The sound of the door slamming opened had both Yuri and Victor’s head snapping in the direction.

            “Piggy!” Yurio hissed. “You told me you’d call when Victor woke up!” He marched inside the room. “What? Did you forget that there are other’s that care about Victor?”

            “Now Yurio.”  Otabek spoke. He followed closely behind and grabbed his boyfriends hand. “It has been an emotional time these past few days for everyone. Give Yuri a break.”

            Yurio quickly turned around and pulled his hand out of Otabek’s. He pointed towards Yuri. “He promised to call when Victor woke up. Pork Cutlet never did.”

            Victor couldn’t believe that Yurio and Otabek were there in his room. More people he cared deeply about where there and he watched as Yurio and Otabek went back and forth for a few moments. He felt his eyes go wide as he watched Otabek wrap his arms around Yurio and pulled Yurio into an embrace and a loving kiss. Victor felt terrible that during his captivity, he missed his young protégé finding love. _I’ve missed so much._ Victor sadly thought. He watched as the two broke apart and looked at him and Yuri. Victor watched as both their faces turned bright red and they quickly averted their eyes.

            He wanted to say something, but the door opening again had him looking towards it. Fear gripped his heart as he watched more people enter the room, and he felt his body start to shake. Victor knew that the ones entering his room were his friends, but that’s not what he saw. All he saw was men entering the room to hurt him, and use him. _He’s a pretty whore! Glad we paid so much._ Victor was back in the room, and he was going to be used by multiple men at once. He was having trouble breathing, and he felt himself going into a panic attack. There were too many of them, surely Master wouldn’t let so many have him at once. Victor brought his legs closer together, trying to make himself smaller. He just wanted to rest, just wanted to get away and be done for the day. Yet Master didn’t say he was done, and he wondered how long he was going to be used by the men. _Please, I can’t handle this._ Victor thought. His heartrate was increasing and he knew that he was having a panic attack. He pulled his arm back when he felt someone grab it. Hands gently cupped his face, and turned his head towards them. The sound of the machines beeping like crazy brought him back and he knew exactly where he was.  

            “Victor, I’m here.” Yuri calmly spoke. He gently stroked Victor’s face, trying to calm his husband down. He looked around the room and watched as his friends had stopped entering the room. He took a deep breath, knowing what he had to do. “I need everyone to get out of here. Right now! I don’t know how you all found out that this is where Victor was, but there are way too many of you in here. I’m pretty sure that this is a lot for Victor to take in, but please, would everyone just go into the waiting room, and I’ll be along and talk to everyone shortly.” Yuri felt his body shaking, but he had to be brave and strong, for Victor.

            Victor just watched as the faces changed from those that wanted to hurt him, to those of people that cared for him. He watched as each person slowly left the room, and he listened as the machines constant beeping was slowing down, returning to a normal rhythm. Yet his heart still felt that it pounding out of his chest, and that he couldn’t stop his body from shaking. _Yuri saved me again._ He flinched when he felt Yuri’s hand touch his face, and Yuri start to run his fingers through his hair.

            “I have to go for a few minutes Victor.” Yuri calmly explained. “I need to update our friends and then if you’re up to it, let one person at a time in with you. With me here of course. And afterwards how about we find someone to cut your hair. Does that sound like a good idea?” Yuri let his smile shine bright.

            Victor felt safe with Yuri around, but hearing that his husband had to leave, frightened him. He was afraid that if Yuri walked out the door, then he would wake up in that room, still chained to the wall. Yet he knew Yuri was right, their friends had to be filled in. Only Victor didn’t know how much he wanted them to know yet. He stared Yuri in the eyes, and nervously shook his head yes. Their lips met, and Victor knew he was safe once the kiss broke, and he watched as Yuri got up and began to leave the room. Victor felt his body start to shake as he watched his husband leave the room, but he knew that he was safe and that Yuri would be back. All he had to do was wait.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super sorry this took so long! I've been going through a depressive state and writing has become very difficult during this time. I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter and I hope the next chapter doesn't take as long to post.

Victor just laid in the bed, eyes never leaving the door. In his mind, anyone could walk through that door, and anyone could hurt him. He still couldn’t believe that Yuri had rescued him, but he did not like the fact that his husband had not been back in the room yet. His eyes traveled to the clock and saw that it had only been three minutes since Yuri left, and he felt that it was becoming harder to breath. _What if he’s not coming back? What if he is giving me back to Master?_ Victor could feel the tears forming in his eyes and he shook his head back and forth. _No, he wouldn’t, he loves me too much._ He could hear the voices fighting in his head and he hated it. _Why would he want you back? You’ve let hundreds of men, maybe even more, use your body every single day without a fight. Yuri deserves better than you._ Victor gripped the sheets tighter, trying to drown the voices out. _He still loves me. That’s why he saved me. So, shut up._ He could feel the tears building in his eyes and he wished he could move his arms. Victor’s body was just in extreme pain, and he could barely move. The tears just rolled down his face, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. _If he still loved you, then he wouldn’t have left you._ That was all it took for Victor to feel as though something broke in him. He had to agree with the voices. Yuri would never have left him if he still truly loved him. The tears rolling down his face stung his skin, and Victor feared that the next person coming through the door would be Master. Victor watched as the door opened, and he felt his heart race. The person he watched enter the room was not the messy black hair and brown eyes of his husband, instead it was the blonde hair, blue green eyes of his former protégé Yuri. _Where’s Yuri? Did he actually leave me? Does he secretly hate me and just needed a reason to leave me?_ Victor could feel the tears forming in his eyes and turned his head away from Yurio.

            “Little piggy said he’ll be back shortly.” Yurio explained. He walked to the bed and sat in the chair that Yuri occupied since Victor had been found. The seventeen-year-old looked over Victor and could tell that he was not the same. “I’m to make sure that one at a time come in and that their visit is brief.”

            Victor felt his heart rate spike when Yurio said that. All he could think about was when Master told him he would have quick visitors since he was being rented out for the entire night afterwards. He felt like hands were choking him, and that he was having trouble breathing and felt panic start to rise in his throat. _Can’t talk, Master will punish me if I do._ The sudden touch of a hand on his snapped him out of his panic, and had him looking up. Though his hair was long and covered his face, he could still see the concern in Yurio’s eyes, and it tore at Victor’s heart. _I caused them so much pain. They can’t possible still care for me after that._ Victor felt his body freeze up as he watched Yurio embrace him in a hug.

            “We have you Victor. You are never going back there.” Yurio whispered into his year. “Piggy barely slept, barely ate, and wanted to search every minute for you. No one will take you away from us again and cause you harm.” He released Victor from the hug and sat in the chair. Victor watched as Yurio quickly wiped the tears out of his eyes, and it brought a small comfort. “If you tell anyone I got sentimental, then I will deny it.” A knock at the door had both snapping their heads towards the door. “Come in.”

            Victor couldn’t stop the trembles that were going through his body as he watched another young man enter. He felt his heart calm down as he realized that it was only Otabek who had entered, but his heart strings were still pulled. _I missed so much. I missed Yurio finding love._ Just thinking about it brought more tears to his eyes, and the memories of the past two years swirled in his head, only serving as a reminder of what he missed. Victor watched as the young man walked to the bed, and sat on the arm of the chair that Yurio was sitting in. The actions he watched between the two told him that they were truly in love with one another, just like he and Yuri were.

            “Victor.” Otabek calmly spoke. “I am truly thankful that we found you. It was Yurio here who got the tip of where you were and from there we were able to find you.” He brought Yurio’s hand up to his lips and gave it a gentle kiss. “I wish you could have been around when Yurio and I got together.”

            “Otabek.” Yurio snapped. “You’re not to be making him feel bad. We are here to say how much we’ve missed him and have not given up hope of finding him.” He playfully hit at his boyfriend’s chest and the two of them started to laugh.

            Victor just watched and could tell that they truly loved each other, and he hated that he had not been there when it all started. Just seeing Otabek and Yurio together made him wonder how much he really missed. At that moment, the brand mark on his side stung, and it made the memories of his captivity swirl in his mind. _“God, who would’ve known that Victor Nikiforov would be this fucking tight!” A client yelled as he continued to viciously pound into the bound man. The pain was unbearable for Master had severely beaten him only minutes before he was supposed to be used. He couldn’t scream even if he wanted to, for he had lost the ability to scream and his mouth was also being used. “Damn, what a bachelor party you guys are throwing for me!” Those words stung Victor and drove home why he had been forced to dress like a woman. It was one of the reason’s that Master beat him, for he tried to argue about being forced to dress as a woman. “Sucks that I have to get married off to that bitch my parents arranged.” The way the men were talking made Victor feel sick to his stomach, but he knew better than to do anything to upset the clients. “Don’t worry. Any time that bitch bores you, just give me a call and I will get you hooked up with this piece of ass again.” The man in Victor’s ass slammed into him again, causing him to take more of the dick in his mouth down his throat. Tears burned in his eyes, but he held back, for the last time a client told Master he cried, Master viciously raped, beat, and tortured him until he no longer could cry. He felt the one taking him from behind run his fingers over the brand mark, causing shivers to go throughout his body._

            “Victor!” A voice yelled. Somewhere he knew the voice, but the memories were getting to him, that he could not recognize the voice. “Victor! Victor! What’s wrong” A hand touched him, and he felt like it was fire. He tried to move away from the touch and shook his head. All he wanted to do was rest, but if Master told him he had more clients, then he would be used without complaint. “Victor! It’s me Yurio! Please snap out it!” Another touch of a hand and Victor snapped his head towards his left and everything came back. How he was rescued, how his Yuri had found him, and how he was safe in the hospital. Victor saw a worried look on Yurio’s and Otabek’s faces and he wondered what happened.

            “Otabek, get a doctor.” Yurio quickly told his boyfriend. He turned back to Victor, concern written all over his face. “It’s alright Victor. You’re safe.”

            Without thinking, Victor reached out and grabbed Otabek’s wrist. The action surprised not only himself but Otabek as well, as the young man turned around and stared at him. He quickly withdrew his hand and knew that he had messed up and that Master was going to punish him. Victor just watched as Otabek turned around and sat on the arm of the chair where Yurio was. He felt the trembles going through his body as he feared that he was going to get hurt for reaching out and touching a client. The memories were still swirling around his head and he couldn’t tell if he really was safe in the hospital or in the medical room that Master kept.

            “I think he feels safer with both of us here Yurio.” Otabek quietly spoke. “If anything was seriously wrong, the machines would be going crazy and the doctors would be coming in here throwing us both out.” He could tell that his boyfriend was still worried about his mentor.

            “He had a panic attack.” Yurio hissed out. “He zoned out on us and I just want to make sure that he’s alright.”

            Victor didn’t interrupt as he watched Yurio and Otabek, talking about him like he wasn’t there. It was familiar to him, for clients would do it all the time, and so would Master during his special parties. All Victor was, was a hole for Master and his friends to use, and to talk about for he was nothing. The tears stung his eyes as just watched his protégé and Otabek go back and forth. He was stunned when the voices stopped and his eyes travelled to them and Victor saw that they both were looking at him with concerned faces. Fear went through him as he saw that they were staring at him, and he wondered if he made a noise he shouldn’t have made. He just watched as Yurio quickly leaned in and gave him a hug.

            “Sorry Victor.” Yurio quietly whispered into his ear. “We weren’t trying to talk about you like you weren’t here. We’re just concerned about you.”

            “I am sorry too Victor.” Otabek sincerely spoke. He got up off the arm of chair and respectfully bowed to Victor. “I will step out so others can quickly say hello.” Otabek kissed the top of Yurio’s head. “When everyone else visits, I will come back in.” Otabek turned on his heel and quickly walked out the door.

            Victor feared he did something wrong as Otabek left, and he feared that Master was going to severely hurt him. A slight touch on his arm had him snapping his head to the left again, and he saw that it was Yurio, and he knew that he was going to be alright and that he was safe. He just wished his husband would come back, but in his heart, he feared that his husband no longer wanted him for he was broken. Victor watched as Yurio slowly stood and grabbed a few tissues off the desk, and come towards him. He didn’t move a muscle as he felt Yurio gently cleaning his face off, and he realized why both Otabek and Yurio were worried about him.

            “We should’ve been more considerate.” Yurio calmly spoke. He continued to wipe Victor’s face gently and even pushed some of the silver hair behind Victor’s ear. The door quickly opening had both of them quickly looking towards the door.

            “Victor!” Christophe happily yelled. “You don’t know how happy we are that you’re back! I just can’t wait for you to get better so we can compete against each other again!”

            A pain shot through both his ankles, and he realized that Master took so much away from him. Victor didn’t know if he would ever be able to skate again as his ankles pulsed at the thought. The first-time Master broke his ankles was for biting, and he remembered how Master laughed and said that he would never be able to skate again. His body began to tremble, and he flinched as Yurio quickly marched towards Christophe. Victor felt his mouth opening to tell Yurio it was alright, but fear that he would be punished for speaking shot through him and he quickly closed his mouth.

            “You are not to be upsetting him!” Yurio quickly yelled at Christophe. He stormed towards the older skater and pointed his finger towards the door. “If you’re going to upset him, then get out.”

            Christophe’s face quickly went red and he threw his hands in the air. “I’m sorry. Just forgot.” He smiled and quickly side stepped around Yurio, so that he could head towards Victor. Just seeing the machines that his friend was hooked up to, tore at his heart. He didn’t like seeing Victor look so broken, for he was use to his friend being happy and full of live. Christophe recalled the day that Victor and Yuri got married and how happy everyone was. He took the chair that Yurio had been occupying and stared at his friend. “I did not mean to upset you, you know how I am.” He laughed and rubbed the back of his head. “All jokes aside Victor, we are beyond thrilled that you are back. I don’t think anyone slept while you were missing, and Yuri, while I worried about him. I watched how the stress was getting to him, the worry, and watched how he expressed his heart ache in his routines. I’ve looked after him Victor, to make sure he at least ate and slept.” Christophe reached out and gently took Victor’s hand and gave a light squeeze. “I am truly happy that we found you.” He stood up, and leaned in and kissed Victor on the forehead. “I’m not going to take too much of your time. Rest and get better my friend.”

            Victor felt his body tremble when Christophe kiss his forehead. It shouldn’t have, for that was how Christophe was, but the memories swirling in his head had him fighting himself. Too many strangers kissed him, too many forced him to do things he never wanted to do, but if he refused the Master would punished him. Victor felt himself on the verge of another panic attack as Christophe left the room and someone else entered the room.

            Everything that happened after Christophe saying hey was a blur to him. Victor just kept fighting off the panic attack he felt building in himself, trying to keep all the medical equipment from going crazy. It brought him comfort that Yurio was in the room while others came in, and even though he knew them all, being so close to a panic attack made everything hard. His eyes kept traveling to the clock and saw that Yuri had been gone for the past two hours, and it tore at his heart. _He doesn’t love you anymore._ The nagging voice in the back of his head spoke. Victor tried to ignore it. _Who would love a disgusting slut like you? How many men have you been with after you swore to be faithful only to Yuri? How many times did you enjoy being fucked by the clients, by Master? Yuri knows that you’re a disgusting slut, and he knows that he can do better than you. Perhaps he was with Christophe the whole time, though a play boy, he seems loyal, unlike you!_ The voice had brought Victor to tears, and he realized that he was clenching the sheets, his body was shaking, and he was having trouble breathing. _No! you’re lying! Yuri loves me!_ Pain was shooting throughout his whole body as he was wrestling with the voices in his head, he was pulled out of it when he felt two hands on his arms and he looked up. The concern on Yurio’s face tore at him, and he looked away.

            “Victor!” Yurio worriedly spoke. “Please calm down! Please. Nothing is going to happen to you here. Yuri will be back shortly.” He felt Victor tense in his grasp, and turned his head to the door. Yurio watched as Dr. Montegorma quickly entered the room, holding a syringe. “What’s that?”

            “It’s a mild sedative, to help with the panic attack he’s going through.” Dr. Montegorma calmly explained. He held up the syringe, took the cap off, gave a quick flick with his fingers, and pressed the plunger until a little of the medicine shot out. “It’s to take the edge off and calm him down. He will be alright.” Dr. Montegorma picked up Victor’s IV and pressed the plunger down.

            Victor felt the medicine start to quickly take effect, and he felt his breathing start to become normal. It also helped to control the memories and remind him that Master was not going to find and hurt him again. The medicine also helped to calm down the voice that wanted to keep him down. He lazily turned his head towards Yurio, and watched how relief seemed to flood the young man’s face. _Why am I causing those I care about so much pain?_ The voice didn’t last long, and he watched as Yurio turned on the television. Victor watched as the news was talking about him, about how he had been found, and then it changed to another news station with the same headline just about. He watched as Yurio continued to change the channel, until he hit highlights from the Grand Prix, and Victor saw what Christophe had been talking about. The highlight was of Yuri, and he saw all the pain and worry Yuri was going through while he was missing. The expressions on Yuri’s face, the way he moved his body, all showed the heart ache he was going through. Victor’s heart was breaking watching his husband skate, knowing that it was a plea to find him and that he would never stop looking.

            “I remember Piggy skating this.” Yurio’s voice broke the silence. “No one talked, not even the commentator’s. The whole arena was quiet, and when he was done, the silence broke, and applause erupted throughout the stadium. No eye was dry, and everyone stood. He broke his record and took gold that year. When he wasn’t skating, he was looking for you, and everything he did showed that he wasn’t going to ever stop looking for you. I don’t think a day went by Piggy wasn’t looking for you.”

            Victor turned his head towards his former protégé and saw that the young man was crying. It really hit him how much everyone went through, and how their daily lives had been affected by his disappearance. If it wasn’t for the medicine in his system, then he would probably be going into another attack. Victor wanted to reach out and touch the young man, but the medicine made his limbs heavy and hard to move. When he heard the door open again, he lazily turned his head in that direction, and watched from his peripheral vision as Yurio quickly snapped his head up, and wiped the tears from his eyes. Victor felt his heart start to pound as he recognized his husband walking in, and then he felt his eyes go wide, despite the medicine in him, as he saw Yuri pull a black leash. _Makkachin!_ Victor watched as the two things he loved more than anything enter the room, and watched his poodle slip out of Yuri’s grip and rush to the bed. The pain ripped through his body, but he didn’t care. He forced his body to fight through the pain, and hugged the poodle close to him. _I’ve missed you so much!_ Victor felt the tears falling down his face, and he rubbed them into Makkachin’s fur, and held the dog closer. Makkachin’s tongue felt rough as his beloved animal started to lick him and he didn’t care. When he pulled his face up from the dog, he saw that Yuri was sitting on the bed and that Yurio was staring at him.

            “I talked to the doctor.” Yuri shyly spoke. He began to scratch Makkachin and ran his finger’s over Victor’s. “I know he’s missed you as much as us, and I thought that Makkachin would help. I’m sorry I was gone for so long, I had to get the clear from the doctors to bring Makkachin in, avoid the media van’s, and actually getting him.” Yuri leaned in and kissed the top of Victor’s head, and pulled his husband in for a hug. “Hopefully I don’t have to leave your side the rest of the time you are here my love. And remember that I love you more than anything.”

            Victor felt everything leave his body as his husband tightened his grip around him, and he let out a sigh of relief. The sudden feel of another set of arms surprised him, and he saw that Yurio was hugging him as well.  He let the medicine that was injected into him, and he felt the darkness start to take him. At least he was falling asleep in the safety of Makkachin, Yuri, and his protégé Yurio. Victor hoped that Master would never find him again and take him away from this. The darkness took him and he hoped that he wouldn’t be plagued by nightmares.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the new chapter.

Victor couldn’t sleep, for every time he did, he saw all the different clients that would use him. Instead he just continued to pet Makkachin and stare at his husband. He watched Yuri slept, and how his hand was entangled in his husband’s hand. His mind just couldn’t understand how the man sleeping on the chair, head resting on the bed, could still love him. All the men he had been forced to service, all the times Master would use and abuse him, and yet his husband was with him in the hospital room, sleeping next to him. Victor felt tears building in his eyes, and he quickly wiped them away. If Master saw him crying, then Master would beat him. Memories swirled in his mind, and he couldn’t stop his body from shaking.

            _The clients that he had been forced to serve were rough, and took great pleasure in abusing him. Victor couldn’t stop the tears from flowing from the abuse the clients were delivering to his body. He defensively forced himself into the fetal position, to protect his body, for he couldn’t stop the tears from falling, and he was coughing up blood. Time seemed lost to him, and he couldn’t even make his body go numb. Finally, it stopped, and all he heard were their laughter and then hands were pulling at him. Victor couldn’t fight back as they put him in a kneeling position and began to roughly take him. Fresh tears fell down his face, and he couldn’t stop the screams that were ripped from his throat, that was until he felt a cock being forced into his mouth._

_“God this is a great fuck.” One of the clients spoke. Victor felt the one taking him from behind, readjust his body, and then he felt the cock running over his prostate. The sound he heard escaping his mouth was of pain and pleasure. “Just wish the bitch would stop fucking crying so much.”_

_“Agreed.” The rest of the group said in unison._

_Time passed slowly as the group took turns using him, and finally they were done. Victor tried to force his body to move, but the pain was unbearable. Everything felt broke, and the tears silently fell. His voice was long gone from screaming and all he heard coming from his mouth were whimpers. He wondered if he would end up in the hospital wing after what those clients did to him. Victor felt his body twitch as he thought about how upset that would make Master, after all Master had drilled it into his head that he was the biggest cash earner he ever had. The door opened and Victor prayed that it wasn’t another group of people that were going to use him._

_“You’re pathetic slut.” Master spoke. The words stung, and Victor wondered what Master meant by that. “Those clients said you were a good fuck, still tight, but the fact you couldn’t stop crying ruined their good time. You know slut, I hate when clients tell me that their good time was ruined by a slut’s crying. I guess a punishment must be dealt out to teach you that you are not allowed to cry no matter how rough a client abuses you.”_

_Victor tried to speak, but he couldn’t. The only sound coming from his mouth were whimpers, and then a yelp was ripped from his throat as he felt Master’s boat kick him in the ribs. “My favorite slut, but I still have to punish you for even the simplest infractions, you should know better.” Another kick, and this time Victor couldn’t stop himself from screaming. “And I promise when I am done punishing you my slut, you will never cry again.” The laughter that came from Master’s mouth, caused fear to go through Victor’s entire body. His eyes drifted down to his ankles, knowing that that was his favorite punishment to deliver. It was to remind Victor that he would never return to his old life, and that Master controlled everything._

            Victor tried to fight the memories of what Master had done to him that night. The pain, his screams, the tears, and then finally he submitted. He had to spend three nights in the recovery rooms after Master’s punishments and then put back to work with the same group that enjoyed causing him pain. Victor couldn’t even scream nor cry and he just let the guys do whatever they wanted to his body. Something wet hit his hand, and he felt the tears slowly rolling down his face. Fear ran through his body as he thought about the punishments he endured from Master, and the frantic beeping of the machines around him only made things worse. Something warm and fuzzy was frantically crying and licking him, and he felt hands holding tightly holding his hand. All Victor could hear was his heart pounding in his ears and thinking about the punishment Master was going to do. He wasn’t free, this was a cruel punishment by Master, and he was foolish enough to believe it.

            “Victor!” A voice yelled. Somewhere in his memories he recognized the voice, and it brought comfort. “Victor! Please! What’s wrong?” The voice was so full of love and worry, and it was pulling Victor out of those dark memories and his vision was clearing up. His eyes fell upon the face of his husband, and he saw all the worry and concern. He realized that he was breathing heavily, and that the beeping was all the monitors he was hooked up to. A few more breaths and he realized that he was still in the hospital and that Yuri had a look of pure worry on his face. Victor looked at Makkachin and saw that his pet was worried about him as well. It took him a second to realize his body was trembling like crazy, and that he was crying. It felt weird to be crying, for he hadn’t cried since that day Master severely punished him, and if he did cry, it was only for a few seconds, and then he stopped. His heart ached at seeing his husband’s face so full of worry and concern, and he turned his head away. Victor wondered if he would ever stop causing his husband pain. “I’m right here Victor. I’m here and I’m not leaving you.”

            The words stung Victor’s heart, and he just closed his so that he didn’t have to see his husband’s face. _I am causing him so much pain. Will I ever stop causing him pain?_ The feel of finger’s under his chin, gently turning his face back towards Yuri’s, brought some comfort to him. When he felt Yuri’s lips on his, he couldn’t stop his heart from breaking, knowing that Yuri was kissing lips that had been forced to suck more cock’s than he could count. _I’m not worthy of this man. I can never be worthy of him again._ Just thinking those very words caused his heart to ache, and he wanted to pull away. The warm, caring, feel of Yuri’s hand keeping his face from turning away calmed him. When he heard the door opening, he quickly looked up, thinking that he was dreaming and that Master was coming in to punish him.

            “Dr. Montegorma.” Yuri quickly spoke. Victor watched as Yuri slowly stood to greet the new comer. “I, I think he was having a panic attack.” The words hurt to hear, but Victor knew that that was what he was having. A small part of him wondered if they would ever go away.

            “Mr. Katsuki.” Dr. Montegorma replied. “We are here to administer a mild sedative that will help calm Mr. Nikiforov down, and maybe get some sleep.” Victor just watched as the doctor walked closer to him, and he felt his heart start to race. Master had plenty of doctors on hand to make sure that nothing completely disabling happened and that he was ready to serve more clients quickly. The doctor’s payments were free use, and Victor seemed to be one doctors favorite. Every time he was in the recovery rooms, that one doctor would abuse Victor in the most humiliating ways and would sometimes keep him an extra day or two in the recovery rooms just to enjoy abusing him. His eyes didn’t leave the doctor as he watched Dr. Montegorma pick up the IV line and inject it with whatever was in the syringe. He could feel the medicine start working right away and he fought as best he could. Victor couldn’t win, and he felt his eyes close, seeing nothing but darkness.

            When Victor finally awoke, it was to the face of his faithful pet, and loving husband. He wondered how long he had been asleep, but he couldn’t ask. Those memories of being punished for speaking still had a hold of him and he couldn’t risk speaking. _How long was I out for?_ Victor wondered, and he felt his body start to shake. A hand gently taking hold of his hand had him quickly looking towards the source and he calmed down. It was Yuri’s hand that was holding his. The emotions he felt were conflicting him, and he just didn’t understand it. _How can he still love me? I’ve done nothing but cause him pain._

            “Victor.” Yuri happily whispered. Victor couldn’t help the sadness he felt in his heart, knowing that he was unworthy of Yuri’s love. “I was beginning to worry that you wouldn’t wake up. You’ve been out for three days, and I was starting to think that you wouldn’t wake up. I’m very happy to see you’re awake. I just want to say that I love you no matter what.” Victor just watched as Yuri gently reached out to his face, and moved his long hair behind his ear. The fact that his hair was long, only made him think of all the men that used him and pulled his hair to control him. “If you’re up to it, then Minako said she could come by later today and cut your hair.”

            The words made Victor freeze, for Master warned him that his hair would never be short again. And yet, here was his husband offering for someone to come by and cut his hair. _If your hair ever gets cut, then it will be the day you are no longer of any use. And on that day, I will dump your lifeless body somewhere where it will never be found._ The words that Master constantly threatened him with daily ran through his head. Victor feared what would happen if his hair ever did get cut. He just stared at his husband, and when the door opened, he felt his whole-body freeze. _It’s Master. This was all a test and I failed. Master is going to beat and severely rape me. I’m going to be in the recovery rooms for a week, or longer if that one doctor is there._ Victor watched as a female entered the room, and saw how she was dressed in navy blue suit. He watched as Yuri quickly stood and went to greet the woman.

            “Detective Wind.” Yuri quickly spoke. Victor watched as Yuri shook the detective’s hand, and he felt himself calming. “What are you doing here?” The tone he heard in Yuri’s voice shocked him. For he thought he heard distain in Yuri’s voice, but it didn’t make since.

            “Mr. Katsuki. I just have a few questions to ask.” Detective Wind calmly spoke. Victor watched as she sat in the chair Yuri had been sitting in. “Hello Mr. Nikiforov. My name is Detective Wind, and I am lead investigator on this case. As you probably guessed, your kidnapping and rescue is making headlines everywhere and New York City has become the center of a lot of media attention, and law enforcement agencies. I just want to get a rough outline or statement about what you went through and the person that held you prisoner for two years.”

            Victor didn’t know if he could speak, so he only shook his head. His eyes traveled to Yuri and he felt a sigh of relief as his husband sat on the bed next to him and held his hand. He didn’t want to this, he just wanted to rest and forget everything that had been done to him in his two years of captivity. The only comfort he found was that Yuri and Makkachin were both in the room. Victor just watched as Detective Wind took out a notebook and a pen, and he felt his heartrate slowly increasing. “Mr. Nikiforov, do you know the name of the person of the person that was keeping you prisoner?”

            He shook his head back and forth, for he only knew the man as Master, and he didn’t know the names of clients either. They were always anonymous and would never say their names while the used him. Victor watched as the detective wrote down a few different things in the notebook. In his hand, he could feel Yuri gently rub his thumb over his knuckles. “Alright. How about the people that would come and use you?”

            Victor once again shook his head from side to side, feeling tears forming in his eyes. There were just so many clients that would use him, abuse him, and do other things to him, he just never learned anything about them. All he knew was that if he disappointed them, then Master would punish him. Master would also punish him if he failed his tests, and Victor felt panic rush through him. _This must be another test. I…I’m not going to fail._ Victor winced as he felt Yuri tighten his hold, and he could tell that his husband was starting to get protective.

            “Detective Wind.” Yuri quickly spoke. Victor watched as his husband stood and walked over to where Detective Wind was. He watched how his husband stood protectively beside him, blocking him from seeing Detective Wind. “He’s not feeling up to this. Please come back another time. Preferably when my husband is doing better.” Victor was surprised by how protective Yuri was being of him.

            “I am going to be honest Mr. Katsuki.” Detective Wind spoke. By the sound of the chair sliding, Victor could only assume that she stood. “I am doing this while all the different law enforcement agencies are still coming in. Soon, more people will be here to interview Mr. Nikiforov, and you won’t be able to stop them. I am trying to get as much information as I can so that they do not have to spend hours talking to Victor, making the situation worse for him. Please, work with me and let me talk to him. The more information I collect, the less time the other agencies have to be here.”

            “Come back another time please.” Yuri shakily spoke. Victor could hear the sadness in Yuri’s voice and he wondered why. “He needs his rest and he needs to recover his strength. So, I humbly beg you, let him rest please.” Victor couldn’t believe how strong Yuri was sounding and it broke his heart. He couldn’t believe that such an amazing man was his husband and still wanted him, even after everything he had been forced to go through. A fur head under his hand, and he gently started to pet Makkachin, letting the motion calm him.

            “I will respect your wishes Mr. Katsuki.” Detective Wind spoke. She turned heel and began to walk out the door. When she was at the door, she quickly turned to look at both Victor and Yuri. “Next time though, there will be more officers, from other agencies, and they may not show the respect I showed.” With that said, she left the room.

            Victor watched as his husband turned back around and sat back in the chair. He just couldn’t believe that Yuri was so protective of him. _Especially after all the men you’ve been let have you. You’re not worthy of Yuri’s love._ The inner turmoil he was feeling was driving him crazy, and he knew that the voices were right. He wasn’t worthy of Yuri’s love, and he could feel the tears building in his eyes. _You’re pathetic if you think that he will ever love you._ The tears began to fall, and he couldn’t stop them from falling. He felt his heart skip a beat when he felt lips on his, and he knew they were Yuri’s. All the turmoil he was feeling was slowly leaving him, and he felt safe and loved. When their lips broke apart, it felt like a piece of him was taken with Yuri’s mouth. _He still loves me, that kiss proved it._

            “How about I call Minako and we get your hair taken care of?” Yuri asked. Victor closed his eyes as he felt Yuri gently move his hair behind his ear. Victor slowly shook his head yes, and watched as Yuri took his cell phone out and sent out a quick text.

            Victor couldn’t believe how quickly Minako came to the hospital, nor how he could sit up in the bed with only Yuri and Minako supporting him, while Minako set about cutting his hair. “It’s good that your back Victor.” Minako gently spoke. Victor kept his head still and he watched as his hair fell from his head. It seemed with clip of the scissors, that the weight he had been feeling slowly drift away. “Hope the doctors don’t mind I’m doing this. Oh well, they can change your sheets.” Another snip and Victor felt more worry leave him. After a while, he watched a mirror was placed in front of his face, and he couldn’t believe it. He looked like his old self, but with bruises, scars of cuts healing, and that he looked underweight. And yet he was happy that he had his short hair again, and he felt some of the doubt he had been feeling leave. “Well I’ll go get a nurse and let them know that the sheets changed.” Victor watched as she walked out the door.

            He wanted to say something, a thank you, but no noise would leave his mouth. Instead he focused on his husband next to him, thankful that he was still with him. _Yuri is with me. He loves me, and I know we can overcome this._ Victor watched as the nurses came in, and slowly helped him out of the bed into a wheelchair. He smiled as he listened to one of the nurses giving a lecture to Minako for cutting his hair. Maybe he could recover, but the sting of the brand on his side, and he felt his heart skip a beat and fear grip him. Victor knew he couldn’t let his hopes get high, for he feared that everything would be taking away from him. He closed his eyes and prayed that this would never be taking away again.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about the bold in the author notes. Someone chose to try and leave a comment about wanting to report this fic saying I enjoy "rape fetish'. This is only a fan fiction, does not mean I endorse rape of any kind.


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